Family Issues - Divorce

  What Happens When A Person

Initiates A Divorce

1. Divorce is a form of vengeance against a marriage partner.  God teaches us that vengeance belongs to Him alone.   (Rom. 12:19)   We are not to "avenge [ourselves], but rather give place unto wrath:..."

2. Divorce forces people to take sides.  Often the first to do this  are the children.  When a person takes up an offence for another, they violate the scriptural command against establishing a "root of bitterness."  (Heb. 12:15)   Children are no exception.  All bitterness is against God.  He could have prevented this!

3. Divorce is a public rejection of God's promises for victorious power in daily living.  God assures us He is greater than any force or influence with which we may have to cope.  (I Jn.4:4)  He has promised not to allow us to be tempted above that which we are able to endure.  (I Cor. 10:13)

4. Divorce destroys the human object lesson of God's relationship with Israel and Christ's relationship with the Church.  (Eph. 5:21-33)  Every marriage that fails weakens the picture.

5. Divorce damages the heritage of children.  When one partner suffers for doing right, they provide, in that example, a Godly heritage for the children by teaching them how to respond to hurt and disappointments.  They are also able to see Christ's character formed in that parent as they respond rightly to suffering.  (I Pet. 4:12-19)

6. Divorce undermines the principle of forgiveness.  Forgiveness is basic to salvation.  In  responding to the immediate circumstances by severing the bond, we tell unsaved persons that we can't forgive either.  The believer is equipped to operate from a higher plane.  Jesus taught us to forgive "seventy times seven."  (Mt. 18:21,22  Note: Lk. 17:1-6)

7. Divorce teaches children that promises can be broken under certain circumstances.  In marriage we each make a vow before God (the most serious kind of promise), "til death do us part."  Because one party fails to live up to their word doesn't automatically release the other.  Children need to know one parent at least has character.

8. Divorce teaches children that marriage is not sacred.  When they grow up they are much more likely to divorce if their parents did.  We are sowing seeds of destruction in the lives of our grandchildren when we divorce.

9. Divorce is a means of obtaining a heart desire.  God may allow it to occur, but He will decrease our capacity to know and enjoy Him and His ways.  We become like those to whom "....he gave ... their request; but sent leanness into their soul."  (Ps. 106:15)

10. Seeking a divorce often results when we are focusing on our rights.  In Christ we are bondslaves.  Slaves have no rights.  A healthy Christian attitude assumes we have in this world what God wants us to have.  This is a statement of God's soveriegnty.  Our focus needs to be on our responsibilities rather than our rights.

11. We know what we DO speaks much louder than what we SAY.  What example are we setting when we file for divorce?  We set examples for our children but also for our friends, especially unsaved friends.

12. Every marriage that fails weakens every other marriage.  In this world we must have some things which are more important than ourselves.  Marriage is a good place to start since it pictures Christ's relationship with The Church.

13. Since none of us are prophets, we do not know what the future holds.  Our mate may not want to be married to us today but we do not know about tomorrow.  We may not want to be married to our mate - ever! - but we still don't know what God is going to do tomorrow.  Faith allows God to place the period at the end of the sentence.

14. One of the indications we have hardened our heart against God's will is when we take matters into our own hands, especially when it's done to protect us from something we don't like.  The Believer is called upon to 'be like Christ.'   Jesus was meek.  Meekness recognizes that God is soveriegn in the universe; that everything He does is good; that He loves us and would not allow anything to occur which would destroy us.  Meekness is a condition of the heart where we trust God completely.  We are able to honestly say we are content with what God brings into our life or allows.

15. Since none of us are innocent, often we can justify a wrong action by determining the other person is more guilty than we.  This is the art of balancing guilt with blame.  If I am 10% 'at fault' am I not guilty?